Someone who hoards is more likely to accept help from a person they know and trust.
It's important to approach the situation with compassion and understanding and help your friend or family member to accept help from a mental health professional.
A mental health professional can treat the underlying reason why the hoarding started. Refer to where to get help for more details.
If they agree to accept help, you are much more likely to improve their living conditions and overall wellbeing.
Conversation starter
To find out if your friend or family is ready for help you can ask a few questions to see if they are ready to make changes.
It is important to approach the topic with sensitivity. Your language should be supportive and non-threatening to encourage trust and show empathy for their situation.
Understand their awareness of the situation
- How do you feel about the way your home is right now?
- If you had a bit more space to move around, how do you think that would feel?
- Are there any parts of your home that feel hard to move around or unsafe?
Explore their openness for change
- Are there items that you have thought about parting with recently?
- Would it help to make a few small changes to help you feel safer or more comfortable?
- Do you think now might be the right time to begin making some changes?
Offer support and help
- How would you feel about us working together to make a few changes – when you’re ready?
- Would it be okay to talk to someone who understands how hard it can be to let go of things?
- Would you be open to having someone who is respectful to help you sort through your things your way — do you think that’s something you’d consider
Tips for the conversation
- Use “I” statements: e.g., “I feel worried when I see you struggling to move around. I want to help you to be more comfortable in your home and help you talk to someone who can help you to stop collecting so many things.”
- Avoid words like “junk,” “mess,” or “hoarder”—instead, use their language (e.g., “collection”, “things”).
- Focus on safety and well-being, not cleanliness or appearances.
Learn more by reading hoarding disorder - treatments and causes (external site) or talk to someone from Healthdirect (external site) on 1800 022 222.
When someone doesn’t want to change
It’s possible your family member or friend may not be ready to admit they have an issue and could immediately reject any suggestion to seek professional help. If you can, talk to them about their concerns about seeking help and what other options or ‘harm reduction’ solutions they might consider.
Be patient and attempt to raise the conversation with them again at another time.
Provide them with information on how to seek further help and let them know you are available for support.
Carers
If you are a carer there are support and resources for carers (external site) of family members or friends with disability and mental illness.
Concerns with person’s ability to make decisions
If you are concerned about the person’s mental capacity to make decisions that are in their best interests, you might consider contacting the State Administrative Tribunal about the appointment of guardianship and administration (external site).
The Office of the Public Advocate (external site) provides access to advocacy, guardianship and administration services which protect and promote the financial interests and welfare of adults with a decision-making disability.